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  • Jana Hofmann

Competition & envy between women

There is nothing bad about the fact that it exists. I think it can be a motivation. I think it can show you what you’re (secretly) wishing or hoping for.

What I think we can and should change about this topic:

being more transpartent about it. Being more ok about it.


I think all of us have these moments of feeling a little bit “jealous” about what the other woman has achieved or done: she got a salary raise, or she got this super cool project, or she made it to go to the gym every day or she baked this fancy cake for her child’s party.

Whatever it is. I think we all experience these moments. It’s human, it’s normal. The feeling exists because it wants to tell us something.


So, what to do?


Admit it to yourself.

Don’t be scared to say or think “hmm, I think I envie her, I think I am jealous because she did xy and that’s what I want, too”.


I know, it’s not easy. But it’s possible.


Ask yourself “what exactly makes me jealous”?

Ask yourself “why do I want this”? “why am I reacting to this”? Is it for the “good & right” reasons?

Sometimes you might feel jealous because it shows your deepest needs, wishes and dreams that are not fulfilled yet.


What else to do?

Speak about it with this other woman. Have the courage to share, have the courage to tell this other woman how you feel. Tell her that you like what she has achieved, because that’s something you’d like to achieve, too, but maybe you haven’t had the time yet or you didn’t know what or how to do it.


Feeling jealous is not a bad feeling. It shows that you admire and respect the person for what she has accomplished. And it shows you there’s something you need to understand about yourself.


You know what happens if you share it? From my experience, it creates a true, strong connection and a real good conversation.


The more you share, the more the other one will share. And you will create a great, true, meaningful, strong and supportive conneciton and conversation.


That’s female empowerment. That’s female power. That’s women supporting women.

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