LEAVING MY JOB MEANT LETTING GO

Leaving my job meant “letting go” - letting go of so many things I did not know I had to let go of:

Letting go of my old me, of my old identity.

Even if it was not the right job for me - still - it has been part of me for 11 years: It has shaped me, it made me realise what I did not want, it made me open my eyes to start all over again, it made me lose myself, it made me take responsibility and say no.

I was so happy about “ending this relationship with the wrong job” - but I still needed time to accept & digest it. I needed time to say goodbye.

Letting go of being part of an organization, a company, a network, a team - letting go of beloning to this work environment.

Letting go of a job title that has defined me for many years. That has been part of my Linkedin profile, my business cards. That has been part when looking for an apartment in Paris, when opening a bank account, when meeting new people and answering the question of “and what do you do in life”?

Letting go of structured 9-5 days and starting to figure out what I actually want to do with my day. How do I want to structure my day?

How to figure out my own rhythm while not being hard on myself and not forcing myself to keep that same 9-5 rhythm?

How to be disciplined but not too strict?

How to keep that balance of freedom and still being productive?

How much productivity do I need?

Letting go of feeling bad because most people around me had a 9-5 day and I didn’t - and that made me feel lonely, guilty, bad. Because yes, it is not always easy to try to live your own lifestyle. And it is not always easy to be an individual and do things differently from the majority.

Letting go of thinking that I had to be productive every day! When even in a “normal” 9-5 job, just being in the office did not mean being productive.

Letting go of the idea that working on myself, investing this time into myself and growing as a person was just “a thing”. It’s not just a thing. It’s something that is preparing me for something bigger to come. Whatever this will be. And sometimes it is difficult that my growth is visible to me only.

Letting go of planning what’s next and what’s after that. And trust me, that has been one of the most difficult things to learn. That sometimes, you need to be patient and let things happen naturally.