Your friend is NOT your coach.
Updated: Dec 12, 2022
The difference between a friend and a coach.
“Jana, your coaching was a real experience for me”. That’s what one client said to me some weeks ago.
And this sentence stayed on my mind since.
And made me think.
And this is not about me telling you I am the best. Nope.
This is about reflecting what value you get from coaching - without knowing you actually needed this.
And I think that’s the point: many of us might not even know they would need coaching.
I have looked at all the people I have coached since May 2021, you know what almost all of them said they loved about coaching with me?
Being listened to. Being heard.
Speaking out loud what’s on their mind.
Because they felt safe.
Because they trusted me.
I am repeating these words and I say it again: coaching is not magic. Coaching is work. And coaching is about finding a coach who did her own work.
If you’re thinking “yah right, my best friend listens to me, too and I don’t have to pay anything”.
Then why are you still feeling like you’re all alone with your challenge?
Why is it that you are still thinking and behaving the same way?
How did your conversation with your friend made you discover new insights that serve your progress?
DO NOT GET ME WRONG: TRUE FRIENDSHIPS ARE EVERYTHING
But: friends are not coaches.
Yes, friends want all the best for you.
👉But wanting the best for you is not the same like having worked for months and months on what it means to listen without judgement, without filters.
👉Coaches do not assume what is good for you - they make you work so you yourself find out what is good for you.
👉A coach is your partner, your true supporter - but a coach is also someone who has the distance to ask you questions that friends might not have the courage to ask.
👉A coach is trained to learn to be present so she can observe things that even you do not notice about yourself, and neither your friend.
👉Wanting the best for you is not the same like having understood and learned that empathy is important but that empathy can make you jump into the helper mode help - and helping is what a friend does, a coach helps you to find your own answer that helps you to move forward.
You need friends.
👉But you also might need a coach to experience what you have not experienced yet.